10 Reasons you really should come to the Los Festingos concert this Friday

So....uh....just want to start by apologizing to my beloved imaginary readers for neglecting you over the last several weeks. I've been busy, okay? These things happen. I think it's a little ridiculous to apologize every time I get lazy an apathetic. And yet, here I am.

Anyway Los Festingos have a massive show this Friday(the 27th that is) at the Kennett Flash. It's truly a historic event, and one step closer to a dream come true. Below are ten excellent reasons you are not going to want to miss this shenanigan. Is shenanigan a word? You only ever see it in a plural form. This may be the first ever documented use of a singular shenanigan.

1. New material. We've been working on a lot of new stuff over the past several months. A lot of different material too. But all of our new songs share one singular element: they rock! Where better to debut these songs than the Kennett Flash?
2. Its the Kennett Flash! The legendary stage where Los Festingos really started gaining a reputation. In my personal opinion, we never play better than we do at the Flash. Seriously.
3. Kick off the Summer! It's Festingo season! Celebrate it the right way for Criminey's sake!
4. Seriously, Criminey gets very sick when people don't come to Festingo concerts.Do it for his sake.
5. Tickets for Los Festingos will never be this cheap again. Hold onto your ticket stub and it will transfigure into a gold mind in fifty years!
6. Sambling (Sam+Rambling) Honestly, the improvised nonsense that spews from my mouth is reason enough to visit one of these events.
7. Sir Ryan Dean, a contributing wordsmith in Renaissance Magazine, will be reciting an original poem in the middle of our new song, The Dragon's Lament. RENAISSANCE MAGAZINE!
8. What else are you gonna do on a Friday night? Hang out with friends? Pffft. Los Festingos are your only friends. Your only real friends, anyway. Work? Come on. Let's be serious. That's not a good excuse. Having a baby? Well.....okay your excused. But only if you name it Sam, Chris, Buckminster, Rancid or Chewbacca. Or Albus, I guess. Outside of childbirth, there are no excuses for missing this show.
9. Bucky will be disappointed if you're not there.
10. We miss you. We want to see you again. We love you! All of you. Especially the imaginary ones.