So you know that CD that we thought would be out six months ago? It's almost out now! Now, that we have enough money to pay it off, enough time to work out the fine tuning and enough ambition to make it all work wonderfully. And it is quite wonderful. Expect it in the next week or two. Were calling it, "It's not what it looks like"
"What a stupid title for such a long pending cd!" you might say. "For as long as it took these guys to put this nonsense together, a whole year of development, you would think they would come up with a better name for their debut album!"
And to that I respond with an earnest "ummm....nope."
The title works on multiple levels. I'm aware of three of the top of my head. If I felt like coming up with, say, five, I probably could. But I'll let you come up with some if you want to. Ive always been a fan of exploration and discovery.
First of all, this is a common Festingoism, spoken during most practices and other Festingo adventures. We thought it was a funny little saying, kind of like "something like that." You know, it's kind of funny. Los Festingos are all about that sort of thing. You know funny sorts of things.
Secondly this title serves as a great textual complement to the cover art. You'll understand that more when you see that for yourself. What, you want me to describe it? Please, I'm not wasting a thousand words right now. Sorry. All I can tell you is that it inexplicably involves a lawnmower, an empty suburban street and a bunch of things we found in Tim's garage that sort of resemble weapons. What does it look like? Who cares, it isn't whatever it is. Or at least it's not, you know, what it looks like. Or something like that....
Thirdly and most importantly it's a commentary on Los Festingos and their place in and at the moment. We've got a professionally produced, highly polished, absolutely perfect set of six tracks here in a legitimate, shiny splendid jewel case with a bar code and credits and pictures. But please don't be fooled into thinking that we are perfect or produced or polished. You can't judge our band on this one cd because it's not what it looks like! Don't get me wrong, you definitely should buy one of these bad boys, they're fantastic! But Los Festingos have always valued fun above all else. That's the whole reason I'm in this band. We go into every show excited to have a good time, and miraculously the ensuing good time sounds pretty good more often that not. We're not bummed if we forget the lyrics, or start playing the drums too fast or solo in the wrong key or embarrass ourselves by being awkward. Because all of those things are hilarious! So if you catch yourself thinking that the Festingos have sold out, or lost touch with their roots or forgot to have fun or whatever, please please please remember, IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!
That's what it means to me anyway.
Los Festingos

A band of epic proportions
Monday, June 6, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
10 Reasons you really should come to the Los Festingos concert this Friday
So....uh....just want to start by apologizing to my beloved imaginary readers for neglecting you over the last several weeks. I've been busy, okay? These things happen. I think it's a little ridiculous to apologize every time I get lazy an apathetic. And yet, here I am.
Anyway Los Festingos have a massive show this Friday(the 27th that is) at the Kennett Flash. It's truly a historic event, and one step closer to a dream come true. Below are ten excellent reasons you are not going to want to miss this shenanigan. Is shenanigan a word? You only ever see it in a plural form. This may be the first ever documented use of a singular shenanigan.
1. New material. We've been working on a lot of new stuff over the past several months. A lot of different material too. But all of our new songs share one singular element: they rock! Where better to debut these songs than the Kennett Flash?
2. Its the Kennett Flash! The legendary stage where Los Festingos really started gaining a reputation. In my personal opinion, we never play better than we do at the Flash. Seriously.
3. Kick off the Summer! It's Festingo season! Celebrate it the right way for Criminey's sake!
4. Seriously, Criminey gets very sick when people don't come to Festingo concerts.Do it for his sake.
5. Tickets for Los Festingos will never be this cheap again. Hold onto your ticket stub and it will transfigure into a gold mind in fifty years!
6. Sambling (Sam+Rambling) Honestly, the improvised nonsense that spews from my mouth is reason enough to visit one of these events.
7. Sir Ryan Dean, a contributing wordsmith in Renaissance Magazine, will be reciting an original poem in the middle of our new song, The Dragon's Lament. RENAISSANCE MAGAZINE!
8. What else are you gonna do on a Friday night? Hang out with friends? Pffft. Los Festingos are your only friends. Your only real friends, anyway. Work? Come on. Let's be serious. That's not a good excuse. Having a baby? Well.....okay your excused. But only if you name it Sam, Chris, Buckminster, Rancid or Chewbacca. Or Albus, I guess. Outside of childbirth, there are no excuses for missing this show.
9. Bucky will be disappointed if you're not there.
10. We miss you. We want to see you again. We love you! All of you. Especially the imaginary ones.
Anyway Los Festingos have a massive show this Friday(the 27th that is) at the Kennett Flash. It's truly a historic event, and one step closer to a dream come true. Below are ten excellent reasons you are not going to want to miss this shenanigan. Is shenanigan a word? You only ever see it in a plural form. This may be the first ever documented use of a singular shenanigan.
1. New material. We've been working on a lot of new stuff over the past several months. A lot of different material too. But all of our new songs share one singular element: they rock! Where better to debut these songs than the Kennett Flash?
2. Its the Kennett Flash! The legendary stage where Los Festingos really started gaining a reputation. In my personal opinion, we never play better than we do at the Flash. Seriously.
3. Kick off the Summer! It's Festingo season! Celebrate it the right way for Criminey's sake!
4. Seriously, Criminey gets very sick when people don't come to Festingo concerts.Do it for his sake.
5. Tickets for Los Festingos will never be this cheap again. Hold onto your ticket stub and it will transfigure into a gold mind in fifty years!
6. Sambling (Sam+Rambling) Honestly, the improvised nonsense that spews from my mouth is reason enough to visit one of these events.
7. Sir Ryan Dean, a contributing wordsmith in Renaissance Magazine, will be reciting an original poem in the middle of our new song, The Dragon's Lament. RENAISSANCE MAGAZINE!
8. What else are you gonna do on a Friday night? Hang out with friends? Pffft. Los Festingos are your only friends. Your only real friends, anyway. Work? Come on. Let's be serious. That's not a good excuse. Having a baby? Well.....okay your excused. But only if you name it Sam, Chris, Buckminster, Rancid or Chewbacca. Or Albus, I guess. Outside of childbirth, there are no excuses for missing this show.
9. Bucky will be disappointed if you're not there.
10. We miss you. We want to see you again. We love you! All of you. Especially the imaginary ones.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Balloonatic
So I heard a very interesting story the other day. A guy and his friend are at a fair and they see that there's a man giving rides on a hot air balloon. The two friends buy their tickets and eagerly wait in line for their turn on the flying contraption. When it's finally their turn they step inside excitedly and the pilot drops some sand bags. They go straight up, up, up into the stratosphere. The pilot doesn't know how to go back down, and they're blown far off course by some very intense winds. Eventually they get the balloon under control and bring it down to where they can see a farmer working his field below. Our protagonist leans over the side of the balloon and shouts down to the farmer,
"hello down there! Can you tell us where we are?"
The farmer responds, "Why, you're in a balloon of course, you fool!"
And he was right.
"hello down there! Can you tell us where we are?"
The farmer responds, "Why, you're in a balloon of course, you fool!"
And he was right.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Grabbin grape

Hi c, as every imaginary reader ought to know, is just another fruit juice in the super saturated grocery store shelf that is modern life. To us, it is no different from Hawaiian punch or Capri sun, really. Just another package to throw in the kids' lunchbox. Hooray! The only thing we consumers care less about than the brand is the flavor, because they all taste pretty much the same. Theyre all the same. And the producers of the drinks all know this. In truth, it is evident that they have given up on the facade of flavor altogether. In this cold, unloving world of juice boxes, no energy can be afforded to fanning the fires of deception, and so juice box marketing has quietly faded away. Like the old slide in a dilapidated urban playground, the juice box longingly watches the world age, and the smiling faces of yesteryear shine on as ghosts in the nonexistent minds of the monolithic remnants of childhood. What once was the product of a man's dream, the symbol of his life's work to create a treat both hydrating and delicious, has washed up on the shores of apathy as a fractured shade of it's former self. And its name is Grabbin Grape.
Nobody cares that it doesn't make sense. Nobody cares that it doesn't describe the taste or the overall experience. Nobody is proud to have Grabbin Grape in their lunch box, nobody exalts it as their favorite beverage. The only reason anybody even buys it is because either it is on sale, or it is the most easily accessible pack in the juice box aisle. Nobody would cry if the product was discontinued. In fact, nobody would even notice...
That is perhaps the saddest thing I've ever written... Maybe it has to do with the fact that I just finished watching WALLE. That very might have something to do with this melancholy. That movie's very powerful....very powerful. Or maybe it's because Easter is now over, and so is the weekend. And there's nothing but exams and projects looming ever nearer on my radar.
Actually, it's probably the fact that I'm sending these words, so laboriously selected, so painstakingly crafted, out into the world. A world where anybody could read them, but nobody does. Nobody. Nobody is a very powerful person. So powerful in fact, that Nobody even knows I exist. Nobody cares about this blog, or these words. But in the end, Nobody could write them better.
I apologize for the existentialism, my dear imaginary readers. I suppose it is a little cliche in this post-post-modern world. But there is nothing quite like blasting the contents of your weary mind into the universe where they will remain forever. I recommend trying it sometime.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Midnight meat madness!

Today, as anyone ought to know, is the last Friday before Easter, aka, the last meatless day of 2011 (for Christian omnivores at least). I don't know about you, imaginary readers, but I'm getting pretty prettay sick of pizza. Don't get me wrong, pizza's freaking awesome. But generally the awesome level is entirely dependent on the amount and variety of meaty toppings. Your average plain cheese, not New York pizza weighs in at about a 2.36 on the awesome scale, just about on par with a photograph of Disney World. You know, not an actual experience, but containing the seeds of some radical memories. On a side note, New York pizza ranks in at 3.4, the same level as a meaningless conversation with a beautiful stranger. Memorable, delightful, but painfully short-lived and in the long run, absolutely unnecessary.
Well sick and tired of this dreadfully monochrome Friday diet I'm taking advantage of a little lent time loophole. This is God's game after all, we've gotta play by his rules. But that doesn't mean we can't bend them. I mean pilots do it all the time! Flying around the earth and whatnot. Pffft.
I'm staying up till midnight, when it is no longer Friday, to cook a steak and maybe go get some baconators for the hell of it. You know, obey the Wendy's drive thru slogan and "eat great even late!" because I'm dying for some freaking meat! You imaginary readers of the vegetarian persuasion are just mad as a bunch of march hares. Literally! You know, cuz hares eat nothing but grass! Get it? Haha ha! Seriously though, My hat comes off to you. Not only do you somehow magically spit in the face of carnivorous temptation in defiance of an evil system, but you are also reading this and also imaginary! You should be the president for jiminy's sake!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Anec-don't!
Okay, so I'm walking down the street with Bucky and I happen to think up something that made me laugh.
"what's so funny Sam?" he said.
To that I replied, "I was just thinking about if there was a guy named Usley, and he got knighted. That would make him Sir Usley! Like, sirusly. You know, like a short version of seriously! Sirusley, Sir Usley!" And I continued to laugh.
Bucky shook his head. And out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw a tear run down the side of his face.
On a different note, I don't really know why I titled this anec-don't. Maybe because I don't know. Anec-don't know what to name this. Let's go with that.
Furthermore, enjoy the thrusts of Spring!
"what's so funny Sam?" he said.
To that I replied, "I was just thinking about if there was a guy named Usley, and he got knighted. That would make him Sir Usley! Like, sirusly. You know, like a short version of seriously! Sirusley, Sir Usley!" And I continued to laugh.
Bucky shook his head. And out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw a tear run down the side of his face.
On a different note, I don't really know why I titled this anec-don't. Maybe because I don't know. Anec-don't know what to name this. Let's go with that.
Furthermore, enjoy the thrusts of Spring!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Why haven't I written?
The short answer is pokemon. Yep, I've been playing pokemon for all this while... But good news is I've beaten it now, and am excited to continue my job as the band's most famous Internet chronologicaler. Yes, it is not a word. And yes, feel free to use it. That's what were all about here...word fenangling...
Anyway. To all of you in Internet land, keep an eye on the sky....or the Internet, rather, for updates about upcoming Festingo related nonsense and the loooooong overdue release of the much anticipated cedar street EP. I promise you, it exists. Believe in it, like you believe in us. But above all, believe in yourself.
Much love,
Sam Phoenix
Anyway. To all of you in Internet land, keep an eye on the sky....or the Internet, rather, for updates about upcoming Festingo related nonsense and the loooooong overdue release of the much anticipated cedar street EP. I promise you, it exists. Believe in it, like you believe in us. But above all, believe in yourself.
Much love,
Sam Phoenix
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Back in action
Yes, I'm back after a prolonged break from blogging. And
LOs festingos are totally back too. Still going strong. Still writing songs. Still being awesome.
Hope your break was as awesome as mine! It was? Good to hear.
ANYway, we've managed to secure a headlining gig at the wonderful pub, the draught horse, right on Cecil b Moore and broad.
February eleventh. Anytime after nine. The show was generously offered to us by meisa, a music organization here at temple.
Look em up, they've got good intentions.
Most importantly, come out and see us on the eleventh. This is the city's first live taste of Los Festingos.
And it tastes good.
LOs festingos are totally back too. Still going strong. Still writing songs. Still being awesome.
Hope your break was as awesome as mine! It was? Good to hear.
ANYway, we've managed to secure a headlining gig at the wonderful pub, the draught horse, right on Cecil b Moore and broad.
February eleventh. Anytime after nine. The show was generously offered to us by meisa, a music organization here at temple.
Look em up, they've got good intentions.
Most importantly, come out and see us on the eleventh. This is the city's first live taste of Los Festingos.
And it tastes good.
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